With actor/producer Vin Diesel releasing set photos of the next Fast and Furious movie on social media, Hollywood is abuzz with speculation as to what this 8th installment of the franchise will include. Here are some safe bets.fastandfurious8

  • Revving of at least 2 engines


  • Lots of fast shots of a hand using the gear-shift to show an increase in speed. These shots don’t have to be just fast, they may also be as furious as the director needs them to be.


  • Someone pulling up next to someone else at a red light and giving a nod (followed by engines revving)


  • References to Paul Walker’s character, who isn’t dead, but Paul sure is.


  • Cleavage. Possibly followed by the sound of an engine revving to symbolize your growing erection


  • Put a tank in one of the chase scenes. Oh, you did that already? Fuck it, make it two tanks then. Do tank engines rev? Make it rev, like GROOWWWWWLLLL!!!!


  • At some point in the film, Vin Diesel will finally admit to all of us that Axe Body Spray is actually made from his pre-cum


  • Something clever in the tagline to inform and distract you that this is the 8th film in the series, like, “F8 Be With You,” or “Don’t Be H8-in’”


  • A car going fast, then hitting some kind of ramp and flipping in slow-motion


Now, don’t you be H8in’. Why not download a FREE E-Book of essays written by the author of this article? Simply click here