The Vondrook Internet Magazine would like to take a special respite from its usual hard-hitting, deeply philosophical articles and instead focus its one bloodshot eye on one of the tens of followers that have gotten us to where we are today. That follower is InDiaN EscOrt iN Dubai 69.

InDiaN EscOrt iN DuBai 69 became a fan and follower of Vondrook nary a week ago and I hope that they are pleased with our content. Like with any great news (such as a new fan/follower), we went to InDiaN EscOrt iN DuBai 69’s website to see what really makes our fans tick. And immediately, we were humbled that such a website would be a fan of ours.


Obviously, this is an escort service. And obviously these girls are escorting expensive jewels and rubies across the city limits; no one is debating that. (“We will send a diamond for you.”) But this Vondrook writer was getting a bit of a mixed signal regarding the content of InDiaN EscOrt iN DuBai 69’s website. There was a lot of talk of discretion and yet, their phone number must have appeared more than 20 fucking times on their website. It just seemed to repeat over and over and over again and I grew concerned. Clearly, InDiaN EscOrt iN DuBai 69 was having a terrible stroke…of genius!image1

Why didn’t more people think of this? Just paste your goddamn phone number all over the page. If you post it enough times, of course people are going to dial it. Of course they are! I wasn’t going to dial it myself until I saw the 14th time it was posted. By number 15 I was like, “Alright, you convinced me!” After dialing the number, I soon learned that Dubai was not located in the continental United States. Did anyone know about this? Can you believe it? It’s like, way over there…somewhere. Sadly, I could not partake in their services. I could acquire no diamonds.

I have no doubt that InDiaN EscOrt iN DuBai 69 is successfully EscOrting jewels across the great city of Dubai with great fervor and I hope that these ladies do their jobs well and do not get intercepted by Russian mobsters and forced to assassinate any political leaders for their own personal gain. That would be terrible; but that is outside my area of expertise.

What is important is listening to all of the satisfied customers who have frequented the website. In the comments section, we have Aloe Ferox Cleanse who writes:image3

“Any certain?” Well, I certainly am impressed with your customer feedback!

And let’s not forget the follower, Facebook (I am assuming billionaire Mark Zuckerberg), who wrote:image4

To anyone reading this article, take a lesson from InDiaN EscOrt iN DuBai 69 and visit their website. I find that you too will soon be hitting the nail on the top. They will soon find that their favorite justifications at the internet will be quite easy to recall, and hopefully they will not get irked.

Thanks for reading, InDiaN EscOrt iN Dubai! I hope hearing more posts from the genius in you will present itself into the reader of mine for that to which I shall be much pleased to scan for optimizing the good word of the book.


Why not get yourself acquainted with a real (literary) whore? Download the free E-book of essays by the author of this article. Simply click here