branson

Mojave, CA— Billionaire Sir Richard Branson addressed the media yesterday concerning the crash of his Spaceship Two test flight and assured that commercial travel in space will proceed forward only if engineers can find the cause of this most recent crash.

Amid a flurry of other questions from reporters, Branson slowly reached for a guitar that was situated on the side of his podium.

“I had a sense that something like this might happen,” reported Janet Stevens from MSNBC. “I saw the guitar before the press conference started and thought, ‘Huh. That’s weird that there’s a guitar sitting there,’ but I let it go at that.”

It wasn’t until Branson slyly reached down for the guitar that tension with the media mounted in the form of a dreadfully awkward silence.

“Yes, I know you have many questions to ask,” Branson started, “and I would like to answer them all…” It was at this point that Branson began to grab at nothing as he tried too hard to keep eye contact with the field of reporters and not on retrieving the acoustic musical instrument. “I would like to answer every question you all have…and….and fortunately I wrote a….ah, bugger! Where is it?”

The guitar in question was a Gibson J-15 Acoustic-Electric; a $1500 piece of musical equipment that was purchased at the behest of Branson the second he got wind of the crash.

“He wanted it to be a surprise to all of us,” Stevens informed us, “That he wrote a song for just such an occasion as a test pilot crashing into the desert at nearly 1.2 times the speed of sound.”branson, guitar

Some joked that they wished they could outrun the sound of Branson playing an acoustic guitar; but most of them just plugged their ears and thought of their families during the ordeal.

 

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