Steven Seagal Vs. A Bowl of Porridge: The Differences You Need to Know
Due to a recent rash of public outcry and confusion concerning the eerie similarities between the 7th-dan black belt Aikido master Steven Seagal and a lukewarm bowl of boiled, chopped cereal, the Vondrook team is here to quell your concerns. Below are the differences between the actor/martial artist and the breakfast cereal. Store these facts in your head and stump your friends the next time the subject comes up (which it inevitably will).
- Is featured exclusively in the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears.
- Although seemingly bland, can be mixed with a variety of berries and fruits such as: blueberries, peaches, or honeydew.
- A good source of dietary fiber
- Origins can be traced all the way back to Neolithic times
- Was a favorite food of Nelson Mandela as well as Wallace and Gromit!
- Has his own aftershave named, “Scent of Action.”
- 4-time Razzy nominee in the category of Worst Actor
- Ponytail smells like burnt plastic
- Likes to pal around with Vladimir Putin, calling him, “One of the great living world leaders.”
- Movies have been going straight to DVD since 2001
- Really likes to hold a gun in his movie posters
- Is hard to kill
Don’t be a Steven Segal; be a bowl of porridge! Download a FREE E-Book of essays by the author of this post. Simply click here