Senate Democrats Hold Talk-a-Thon; Action-a-Thon Postponed Indefinitely
Washington, DC– Democratic Senators have decided to hold an all-night Talk-A-Thon on the Senate floor Monday night, hereby cancelling the long-anticipated Action-A-Thon they had planned years earlier.
“We will be talking about the issue of climate change,” said Hawaiian Senator Brian Shatz. “We have found that on average, it’s a hell of a lot easier to talk about things than to do anything about them.”
The Talkathon, which will last on the Senate floor until 9:00 am Tuesday morning, will be applauded by all of the democrats who will be agreeing with themselves exhaustively for nearly 12 straight hours. “It’s going to be a beautiful Democratic suck-off,” said Californian Senator Barbara Boxer. “It’s one thing to do things you always talk about doing, but to actually talk about the things you’ve been talking about for years is the same matter entirely.”
Unfortunately, the Senate on Monday will be void of any Republicans, as their Listen-A-Thon coincidentally had to be postponed until further notice.