New Childrens’ Train Set Pieces Are Childproof; Not Drunk-Angry-Dad-Proof
Playcollege Toys, the toddler-friendly toys, has released a new build-and-play train set for children that is impervious to child-like destruction. Unfortunately, it is completely vulnerable to an angry drunk father tripping over it and kicking it to smithereens.
The ground-breaking study was not performed in Playcollege labs, however. Three-year-old Timmy Baterman opted to conduct the study in his family’s living room, where he strategically placed his newly acquired train set at the bottom of the stairs. He was put to bed early in the evening and waited patiently.
Timmy was awoken in the early-early morning with a crash and a thud coming from downstairs.
“Holy Jesus, Fuck,” Mr. Baterman muttered at the foot of the stairs. “Timmy’s fuckin’ trains…” The noises that followed were what Vondrook reporters claimed to be a loud grunt of frustration along with the sound of carnage and destruction upon the small plastic train station that was assembled hours earlier by the young Baterman boy.
After being notified of many similar incidents by other families across the nation, Playcollege is considering placing a new label on the box of the train set. Either that, or to have a warning on all beer labels concerning children’s train sets.
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