New York, NY—NBC executives made an honest move yesterday by naming their Sunday night primetime show “Celebrity Apprentice,” to simply “Celebrity” Apprentice.

“We can’t lie to the public anymore,” said NBC executive John Starling about the show which features contestants such as Brett Michaels, Cyndi Lauper, Sharon Osbourne, and Rob Blagojevich. “Let’s face it: these people are not celebrities; they’re punch-lines, has-beens, phonies, idiots, drug addicts, and most likely all have at least one STD.”

 Starling did consider a massive overhaul of the title, one of the possible titles being, “A Pathetic Attempt to Reclaim Former Fame,” but was advised by the NBC President that it would be too costly in new ad revenue.

 “Plus,” Starling stated, “I think people used to actually watch ‘The Apprentice,’ so maybe we can still get some viewers off of the name itself.”

 The new promotional campaign, which is more cost-effective, will encourage viewers to verbally discuss the show with others using “air quotes” around the water cooler. For example, one viewer could tell his friends, “Hey, I saw ‘Celebrity’ Apprentice last night, and Brett Michaels, the ‘Rock God,’ had a ‘brilliant’ idea…”

 If viewers of the show take it upon themselves to use “air quotes” through word of mouth, NBC may finally have a “hit show” again