City Riots in Celebration of Hardee’s Employee of the Month Winner
Philadelphia, PA– Residents of the city took to the streets last night in celebration after receiving the news that 36 year old Jerry Novak was named Hardee’s Employee of the Month for April. As of press time, there had been reports of multiple cars being flipped, as well as 3 downed traffic signals, most notably at the intersection of Broad and Race Street.
“It’s something the city really needs,” exclaimed Jerry fan and bed-bug aficionado Carl Hampton. “And it was such a tough start for Jerry at the beginning of the month… I can’t believe he made it. No, we made it. Whoooooooooo!!!!”
It’s true. Jerry’s cream that rose to the stop started lower than one would expect after having been too hung-over on April 1st to come into work. “It may have been April 1st, but it was no joke,” said Jerry’s manager Skip Thompson. “He was in no way fit to come into work. He said he was sick, and that’s how I reported it, but he actually said, ‘Achoo’ instead of simply faking a sneeze. To be honest, I didn’t think he would last another week.”
But in the remaining 29 days of the month, Jerry went on a veritable tear of politeness, cleanliness, and quality control, the 3 things that every Hardee’s employee strives for. From greeting customers with a smile at the counter, to scrubbing up an unfortunate abuse of the toilet by a wayward vagrant, Jerry’s month of April told the story of a man pushing himself forward with his back against the wall.
The person standing in the way of Jerry’s victory was 4-time Employee of the Month Winner John Jennings, whose winning smile as well as wearing a cornucopia of Hardee’s flair paved the way for another victory. His upselling skills were at an all-time high as well, making him seemingly unstoppable to win another title. That is, until Jerry’s scrappy pluck and hard-lined basics got him over the threshold to victory.
“Jerry’s story is one of inspiration,” said Hardee’s customer Stephanie Fagan. “That’s what makes him a Philly favorite. It just goes to show you it’s not about how you start, it’s about how strong you finish.”
Jerry was unable to be reached for comment, as he went to sleep early in preparation to cover a double shift tomorrow. Do I smell a repeat in May?
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