Billy Joel, the internationally famous songwriter, suffered a heart attack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack yesterday in his penthouse apartment in Manhattan, and was rushed to Mt. Sinai Hospital. His condition has been upgraded to stable.
“It was a real eye opener for me,” said the Rock and Roll Hall of Famer “I thought I would suffer from alcohol poisoning for sure, but not a heart attack.”

We have a more recent photo of Billy Joel on file, but it's not meant for people with eyes. Trust us.

He is due to be released within the next few days, but will have to postpone his nationwide tour. “I think I am going to take some time off and really appreciate the finer things in life. For instance, the next time I drive into someone’s living room, I won’t do it with a Chevy, but rather a Cadilac-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack.”